Posts Tagged ‘drinking’

40. Beach Games

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

I just want to lie on the beach, drink, smoke cigarettes and, if I feel like it, read a book. I want to people watch. I want to take photos of children frolicking in the surf. Just kidding, I actually don’t, but people who are into photography do.

Since I came here on vacation, I want to bask in pure laziness. If you would rather be active while at the beach, good for you, champ. Just don’t expect me to participate in any of the following games:

Beach Ultimate
  • Frisbee: I hate Frisbee. I especially hate people who are “good” at Frisbee, with their unconventional tosses and catches. Likewise, I detest Ultimate (perhaps the fruitiest team sport ever conceived). The only way Ultimate could get any worse is if it were played in a parking lot in rollerskates and cut-off jean shorts.
  • Beach volleyball: It’s never as competitive as it should be. The unathletic weak links on each team kinda ruin it. The only time it’s ever been truly competitive at the amateur level was when Maverick and Goose took on Iceman and Slider, while shirtless and wearing jeans (full-length jeans). Now THAT’S beach volleyball.
  • Beach tennis (a.k.a. Paddle ball): A variation of table tennis, without the table. Or the fun.
  • Beach soccer: I remember kicking somebody in the shin with bare feet while attempting to play beach soccer. My toes were throbbing for hours, an experience that forever soured my appreciation of beach soccer. And there’s no cross-bar over the net (which consists of two shoes as goalposts), so there’s always an argument as to whether or not a shot was “too high” to be a goal. Plus, North Americans are an absolute joke at soccer.
  • Hackey sack: The juggling can also be done with a soccer ball. But the hackey sack is more transportable and hippie/stoner-friendly. Either way, it’s extremely boring.
  • Beach (American) football: Non-North Americans cannot throw a football.
  • Beach rugby: I don’t even know how to play rugby. Most North Americans don’t. So yes, I am a pussy, according to Aussies, Kiwis, South Africans, Brits and certain Frenchmen.

A couple exceptions:

  • Patentero: A Filipino beach game that is super awesome. Ask my dad how to play it.
  • Bocce: I actually love this game, mostly because it can be played at a lethargic and effortless pace.

Backpacking in the News

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Link to article: 10 Things Backpackers Do But Don’t Often Talk About


Backpacking in the News

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
Classic DFMO. Note the tribal tattoo.

What a shocking bit of news. You mean to tell me that backpackers are promiscuous? And they drink too much? No way.

Hmm… Perhaps the backpacking, drinking and promiscuity are related. Worth looking into.

A few highlights:

  • Over 430 backpackers in hostels across Sydney answered questions about their boozing and scoring tendencies for an Australian study, which also tested for Chlamydia. Subjects ranged from 18 to 30, with an average age of about 23 and an even distribution of men and women.
  • 3.1 percent of men had Chlamydia; 3.9 percent of women had it.
  • 7.6 percent of men reported a previous case of Chlamydia; 10.1 percent of women previously had it.
  • That pushes the percentage of ever having Chalmydia to 10.7 percent for men and 14 percent for women.
  • 31 percent of men had a new sexual partner en route to Australia; 20 percent of women had one.
  • 60 percent of respondents said they “always” used protection.
  • 33 percent of men are drinking over double the recommended daily intake of alcohol; 28 percent of women are doing so.

Doing a study like this is like polling Jamaicans to see if they smoke weed. Backpackers can regularly be seen having unprotected sex on the shore at Full Moon Parties, for chrissakes. While the investigative process was no doubt entertaining, we already knew the answers. I want to see a study examining the amount of beenouing going on in Sydney hostels. Wait a second, I know the answer to that question too: A lot.